Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
