U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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