i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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