i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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