I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
