walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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