i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
