guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
