I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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