Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
