Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
