i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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