I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
