So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
