are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
