from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
