Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
