i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
