Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Even my vagina gasped.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
