i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
