Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
