Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
