chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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