i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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