Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
being pregnant is like rehab
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
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