You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
