she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
