My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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