VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
