they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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