can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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