This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
