its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
