Kiss
Puke
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
