if i can run in heels then i can drive
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
