My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
im six kinds of drunk right now
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Help me help you realize you are a moron
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
