I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
