hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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