Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
