and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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