Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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