So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Randomize