So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
