Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
