I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
