my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
