If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
