I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
