You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
