You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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