Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
