Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize