If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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