Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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