doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
