I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
