Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize