He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
