We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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